At the time of this project I was attending a couple recovery and fellowship groups. This was the first time I had admitted to myself that I had and still have a problem. It was all very foreign to me and I had learned many things including my bottom lines. These are the habits we turn to when in distress, doubt or fear. Drugs have been a problem since my teenage years and still continue to be this day, but the difference is that I know that I had been using them to escape and numb myself to my emotions and problems in my life.

The same can be said about my past relationships and video games. I would lie and use people just to feel some sense of worth or value for myself. On top of these I would check out from reality and isolate myself in a fantasy world where i didn’t have to deal with anything. My bottom lines would typically be interconnected in a cycle that would only make things worse not just for me but for everyone around me. I realized this had been destroying my chance of any real happiness and why I had been in denial for my entire life.